I think there is an in-built difference between the sexes - obviously on a physical level, but also psychological, emotional and spiritual as well. For us these fundamental differences are rooted in God, not in biology. We call God the Father so fatherhood is rooted in God because of the way He generously creates and brings that creation towards Himself and the fullness of life. Masculinity embodies that bringing forth of life, and femininity expresses mother earth receiving and nurturing.

Although creation of life is crucial to masculinity, society's idea of men being primarily sexually virile is perhaps taking it a bit far, though, and needs a bit of fine-tuning.

We would say that groups that don't fit into that fundamental pattern of a masculine father and a feminine mother - the lobby that says homosexual sex is a good thing and should be treated as equal to heterosexual sex for example - are pushing an untrue dimension of human relationships. To say that the erotic expression between two men is a good thing is damaging for them and for wider society.

I think the absence of the father from many families is also a negative thing. For the Catholic Church, masculinity and fatherhood are about leadership, teaching with authority, discerning what is going on in our family and encouraging that which comes from the good spirit. We try to guide with authority. There are more and more families without a masculine presence and that is not a good thing. No family is perfect, but the absence of the father is one of the wounds many families have. I think the priest is needed even more now to provide a framework and guidance.

Becoming a priest happened for me very quickly. I went for dinner with a university friend at a seminary in Chelsea in 1988. He was telling me about how he wasn't particularly happy there. I, however, felt very at home. I applied two weeks later.

When I was at school, priests seemed like Martians and it never occurred to me to become one. But at university, I was a member of the Catholic Society which explained the faith and I gradually learned what a priest was.

I've been a priest for almost nine years now. I'm a celibate. I do miss having a partner, someone to lie your head next to at the end of the day. That's what I've given up, but I have gained a wider family. It's a very broad relationship which takes in the whole parish. They're my family and I'm committed to them ahead of any spouse or children I might have had.

I'm convinced I couldn't have both a family and a parish; they're just not compatible. It could lead to a sense of serving two masters. I have often thought that I've not got this opportunity to have a family, but that feeling doesn't last for more than a couple of hours. Once I reflect on who I am, I find a conviction in what I'm doing on a deeper level, which is a stronger calling than the one to marriage.

When I became a priest I was between girlfriends. I'd grown apart from one and was good friends with another. How did they take it? With the first, the decision to part was more her decision and I was the one in trauma. The other lady was very committed to the Catholic vision and recognised that my vocation was an important one.

It's important to understand celibacy as a positive thing. To understand that helps with any temptations. We are only human after all. People do relate to you differently as a celibate. My own experience of marriage is not going to colour how I advise people with their relationships. I'm not a bachelor; I'm outside all of those terms.

Chastity in the broadest sense is using your body and your whole sexuality, including the erotic, for the service of others. You can have close friendships, but they're free of the erotic. They're the kinds of friendships Jesus had. You don't need to have sex to be close friends with someone, that's fairly obvious, and the life of a priest is built on that in a fairly significant way. Although there isn't intimacy, you do get a great deal back.

· Hugh MacKenzie, 41, lives in Willesden Green, London