Nnnggghhhh!
Really? The wife and I thought it was splendid, actually - excellent value for a mini-break, and a complimentary fruit bowl, even if the kiwis could have been fresher. Now open just a little wider for me, got to have a bit of room to drill with ... crikey, it's a bit of a crater, isn't it?

Nnnggghhhh!
Hold tight, steady as she goes! Very wise to have gone for the numbing. Might have to send out to the Mint for some more silver, eh? Just my little joke, have you sorted in a jiff. Remember, if you feel any pain, just raise your hand. Splendid round the other day, tricky little putt on the last for two over. You play, don't you?

Nnnggghhhh!
Thought so. Careful, though, I can't do anything if you keep putting your hand up like that. Da, da, da, dee, da, da, da, dee ... you've seen the latest, I take it?

Nnnggghhhh!
You haven't? "Denta Vu". Hi-tech headsets and goggles for you to wear in the dentist's chair, giving you calming programmes from the BBC, natural history footage set to music, that sort of thing. It's already on offer in Canada, and dentists here are being invited to try it.

Nnnggghhhh!
Exactly. This may well be a splendid wheeze by the BBC to cash in on its library stuff, but what about our little chats? Who would want to watch llamas gambolling to Vivaldi, when we can discuss the rugger and sort out whether the A303 or the M4 is quicker for Frome in the time it takes to fix a dodgy upper third left?

Nnnggghhhh!
You're absolutely right! Progress, eh? Next it'll be a Rolf Harris video featuring Molar Over, Beethoven, Driller, You Fill Up My Trenches and a medley from Plaque Sabbath. Plaque Sabbath! That's not bad, is it? There, all done. Rinse for me, please.

Do say:
Nnnggghhhh!

Don't say:
Marathon Man, with Dustin Hoffman and Larry Olivier? That sounds like fun - put it on!