Andrew Purvis: Long before the Andrex puppy made it famous - by promoting a brand of moist, herbal toilet paper providing "an extra level of care for all the family" (whatever that means) - aloe vera was known to be good for bottoms.

The scabies mite has eight legs, is half the size of a pinhead and causes unbearable itching - not to mention social embarrassment. But when Clare Seeber became infected it was her sceptical doctors who got under her skin.